Is Fear Real or Perceived?
Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events.
Fear can paralyze you and keep you from living a normal life, taking a chance on a loving relationship or even going after your dream. Instinctive fear is a good thing. It protects you from danger. However, most fear is learned by association or from a personal experience.
I have a fear of heights. I was recently at the World Trade Center in New York, the tallest building in the western hemisphere. I was fine going up in the elevator to the top floor, but when I looked out of the window and down to the ground, I felt dizzy. I had to walk away. I felt like I would fall right out of that window even though it was closed. I didn’t let that stop me from going up in the first place and having a wonderful experience. It was amazing to see the city from that high up!
I’ve also experienced fear of rejection or failure. It prevented me from going for certain career opportunities. Being vulnerable by putting myself out there and the possibly being turned down, laughed at or rejected because I didn’t know enough or wasn’t good enough was terrifying.
When I first started as a health coach, I felt like I had to keep learning more information before I put myself out there as a transformational life and health coach. I kept putting off trying to get clients until I learned one more thing. Who was I to call myself a transformational coach? I thought I had to be an expert. The problem is, how do you know you will fail unless you try? What I didn’t realize at that time was that I didn’t need to be an expert. There may be instances when you don’t always have the perfect answer. Maybe you know someone that could help you find the answer or refer to someone that may be an expert in that field. There will always be something new for me to learn. So I made the decision to go for it anyway with the understanding that I will continue to learn because that’s what I love to do. I started giving talks in front of small crowds. This also helped with my fear of public speaking. The more I did it, the easier it became.
What if you do try and fail? Do you let that prevent you from trying again? Maybe you need a certain amount of no’s or failures before you get to those yes’s or successes. It could simply mean doing some tweaking and then attempt again. The only way to get through this if you want to succeed is to face that fear and go for it. We’ve all heard the phrase “If at first you don’t succeed, try and try again.” If you don’t, you could be missing out on something that could change your life completely.
Relationships are like this. We’ve all been hurt. We’ve all probably been cheated on or lied to at least once. Does that mean that all of your relationships will end like this or that you are destined to always be hurt? No one is perfect. They might let you down in some way, shape or form. It’s bound to happen. If you let that prevent you from trying to have a healthy relationship with someone, you could be missing out on meeting the love of your life. Sometimes fear can make you look at things through a skewed lens. You might perceive something one way because you are predicting an outcome due to a bad past experience instead of what might really be happening.
My tip for the day – face your fear and live! Don’t let fear hold you back. There are so many wonderful opportunities waiting for you.
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